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She contacted an attorney but was told there was no legal recourse to have her son’s name removed.
She contacted a group of other parents who were willing to work toward legislation prohibiting the unauthorized sale of items with deceased soldiers names on them in New Jersey.
Speaking of her son Sullivan remembered his penchant for “doing the right thing” even fighting the class bully in first grade who had picked on someone even smaller than himself.
Vincent, she said, professed to being 5 feet 7 inches, but says his mother jokingly, he “lied” about that and as a sullen teenager blamed her for his size.
Sullivan spoke of how her son loved the Marines, but when he came home from his first tour of duty expressed sadness at having seen “pure evil” in the world for the first time.
He and his unit voluntarily returned to Iraq in July of 2004.
It was then, she said, that she knew it was time to step back from protecting her 22-year-old son.
“It was his turn to begin protecting us,” she said, tearing up.
Another Gold Star mother Bernadette Sherman of Neptune, said her son Stephen joined the army after graduating from college and having trouble finding a fulfilling career.
He enlisted and was made a sergeant after only 14 months.
“It usually takes two years,” Sherman said with pride.
Stephen Sherman died in Iraq after an IED attack on Feb. 3, 2005. He was 27 years old.
Sherman said when she first learned of her son’s name being used without her permission, she felt “violated,” and although she acknowledges there are opposing views on the war, she does not want to see her son’s name used for anyone’s political purposes.
“There’s no politics on the battlefield,” she said.
Both Sullivan and Sherman were likewise upset when they learned Cindy Sheehan, the well-known anti-war activist, had put dog tags, with their son’s names displayed, on crosses in Crawford, Texas, where her anti-war protest was camped.
Sullivan was able to have a friend remove her son’s dog tags from the cross.
And although Sherman could not go herself and remove the cross bearing her son’s name, she did not want his name used politically.
“When I learned that Cindy Sheehan had Steven’s name on a cross, I was very upset. Even though it’s not for profit, I felt violated that his name was being used for her political purposes.”
The anti-war T-shirts are being sold on the website carryabigsticker.com.
Printed on the front of the shirt are the words “Bush Lied” while the back states, “They Died.”
Both sayings are overlaid with the names of the fallen soldiers, listed in alphabetical order.
According to the site money is not being made from the sale of the shirts.
“A number of people have accused me of trying to ‘make a buck’ off the fallen troops. I have not made any money on these products yet,” said Dan Frazier on the website.
Frazier says on the site that getting permission to use the names would have been too difficult.
“Much has been made of my failure to get permission from the families before using the names of the fallen. Not only would this have been a monumental endeavor for a small company like mine, but it would be impractical. There would certainly be many cases where the wife said no, but the mother said yes, or vice-versa. All kinds of disagreements would arise between family members. Who would have the final say?” he asks.
Assemblyman Kean’s bill states “no name, portrait or picture of any deceased service member of any branch can be used for commercial or political purposes, without the prior consent of the service man’s closest living relative, by blood or marriage.
“Family members who are mourning the loss of their loved one should not have to worry that their relative’s name or likeness is being exploited,” said Kean.
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