The B Plot: Super-monumental moment
By RICHARD VIRGILIO
Everyone has had a number of monumental moments in their life. To-date, I have had a handful and I am confident each one has happened for a reason. I always learned something in the end. Hopefully, coming out of the situation a better person. One of my super-monumental moments happened five years ago on Super Bowl Sunday.
My 20s were filled with enough crappy relationships even one that lasted for four years to keep LOGO Network packed with movies of the week for an entire season.
It seems I subscribed to the theory that in your 20s you are so fresh out of high school and college you are looking for a science project to date Hooray, Ive got myself a disaster for a boyfriend. I know I can change him. Yeah right.
Finally, I had enough. No more dating. No more. I retracted to the warm, comforting, secure cocoon of my friends. I was terrified and tired of the potential of being hurt by another guy.
The fall of 2002, through a friend, I met a guy, Bob Lombardi. Over time, he somehow elbowed his way into my life and I cautiously loved every minute of it.
We hung out doing tons of fun things great dinners, walks, adventures, parties, weekend trips (including Asbury Park), holidays and more.
Bob even saw my friends and I drunkenly lip synch Santa Baby and Copacabana during an after-family party on Christmas Eve, and did not run screaming.
I let him know his kindness and patience was slowly winning me over, however I actually already knew he won.
So, the super cold morning of Super Bowl Sunday, we discussed plans for his annual party. We talked about me meeting his brothers and others for the first time.
Afterwards, with a hug, kiss and wave he was off to go snowmobiling with his brothers.
Four hours later, a panicked call comes from one of Bobs friends.
Bob hit a tree snowmobiling. I am on my way to the hospital. I dont know any more. He is in really really bad shape.
Bob never woke up after hitting the tree. Ten tortuous hours later the physicians took him off all the machines and he died shortly after.
There are and were tons of emotions involved. My main issue is that I still cant comprehend someone walking out the door and never seeing them alive again. It does not compute in my brain.
Still today, I worry when the door closes behind my friends as they leave me. In some ways, that is why I am a Certified Type-A control freak. I want everyone to be good and safe always.
My therapist, Dr. Rosenblatt, has his hands full, and consistently tells me some of my expectations are unreasonable.
Looking back, I know Bob came into my life, for such a short time, for a purpose. This is not a boo hoo story. In those few months I had Bob in my life, he was able to positively influence the rest of my life – help me put lifes worries in perspective. I am so thankful for our time together. He was a gift.
So, this Super Bowl weekend, I look forward to making passes, passing the Buffalo wings and passing on some of the good that I found, from a horrible moment in my life.
Bob reminded me to:
Live life to the fullest. Have fun. Be free. Dont worry about all the nonsense.
Being greedy is poisonous.
Give love unconditionally and often.
Expect nothing in return.
Take risks. The rewards are extraordinary and the negatives will work themselves out.
Never waste a minute being miserable.
Cherish your friends and family. Dont take them for granted.
Cheers to you, Bob and those thick-necked guys in Spandex who will be jumping all over each other in that testosterone filled University of Phoenix stadium (built by architect Peter Eisenman using a barrel cactus as inspiration, FYI) on Sunday.
Before the big game, see you Sunday morning at Trinity Churchs First Annual Chili Cooking Contest (11.30 am to 2 pm). I hear some spicy cooks are prepping their blue ribbon formulas for you. More info at TrinityNJ.com.
New e-mail for you, for me: Richard@TheBPlot.com.
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