By RICHARD VIRGILIO
Cue the violinsThere are fireworks in the sky this Fourth of July, but are they in your heart?
I spoke with Melanie Gorman, dating coach from the Oprah-famed Ask Mars Venus organization and she offered up some summer loving advice for her GLBTI friends in Asbury Park looking for snap, crackle and pop of a different kind.
Attitude is Everything
Your attitude can create a ripe environment for resentment and sabotage any chance of dating success, or it can open the door to attract new and exciting people, stated Melanie. Your attitude may just be interfering with your search.
Huh?
Approach each potential partner anew while checking your negativity at the door, Melanie continued. Be the kind of person you want to date and be brave enough to settle for nothing less.
Amen, sister.
Get Down to It
Early intimate encounters are actually one of the leading reasons why relationships don’t work, stated Melanie. Consider the following before hitting the sack together: Do you know what your new partner is looking for from an intimate relationship – friendship, commitment, a one-night stand? If your goals dont match, can you deal with that?
Likely, no.
For many, theres a silent expectation that sex equals a relationship, she continued. Be honest with yourself and your new friend.
True that.
Stereotypes
Women are genetically programmed to think about many things at once, which can lead to getting carried away about the potential of a relationship, continued Melanie. Get two women together who are both thinking this is it after a few dates and it can lead to disaster. The stereotype of you meet, you hit it off and the next thing you know youre living together happens sometimes, but instant relationships often head for splitsville.
And boys
Men must recognize that, if they are looking for a partner but meeting guys who are solely into hooking up all summer, there is an obvious goal incompatibility, she stated. Know what youre looking for, be honest and dont compromise – for the sake of both of you.
Cheers to love exciting and new. Come aboard Asburys expecting you
Briefly: A study published last week from UCLAs Williams Institute detailed that if New Jerseys same-sex marriage laws were revised to mirror Californias new laws, the State would see an additional $256 million in wedding related revenue and more than 800 new jobs in the first three years. Compelling.
Also, the innovator, the originator, the lover, the obliterator, the instigator, the generator of all things ahead of the pack Mary Fallon, of Chat & Nibble fame, is back. Her new venture is Ketchup, the impressive restaurant at Paradise. Check it out for yourself. I was there for dinner recently and the party I was with agreed she has done something very special again. New menu, location and energy.
And, Politicos – dont you think you put the cart before the horse by installing parking meters at the beach this year? We understand why you did it, we simply think you did it a year too early. Ug.
 Coaster Photo: Residents and visitors watched the 2007 fireworks from the promenade at Convention Hall in Asbury Park. |
Richard@TheBPlot.com.
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